it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
