Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
