Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
