You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize