Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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