His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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