what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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