if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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