Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
