I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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