In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
