i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Houston, we have a blender
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
