I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
