I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
