Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
