So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
