i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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