Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
