drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So apparently I’m into choking now
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