Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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