hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize