She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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