i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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