Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
