It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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