We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
