and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
