i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
