Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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