I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
