remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
