I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
