My hair reeks of homosexuality.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
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