This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
