i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
