I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
