if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
