We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
