Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
