I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
