I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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