Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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