Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
