Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
