I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize