and next time when you feel me up, do it right
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
