Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
