I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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