At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
