Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
