Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
