I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
