is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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