Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
