Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
