Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
God, I missed his penis.
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