If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
