O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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