I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Randomize
