I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
