Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize