found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
