I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
