doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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