I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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