Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
