She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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