dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
