it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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