I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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