a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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