Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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